Monday, February 27, 2012

Bizarre Wedding

This piece of writing was a teasing joke I wrote dedicated to a friend of mine, who was adamant about not being the first to marry from our group of friends. Written in 2008, during a free period in class, the piece of paper I scribbled it on was filed away for a while. I thought it would be funny to post it up on fictionpress.
Here it is:

Early July, 2018. Shannon thought back to her engagement. Was it really six months ago? To her, it seemed like yesterday that her beloved bent on his knee and asked for her hand in marriage at the park on the same spot they had first met. She remembered that day so vividly that it played like a movie in her mind's eye. She seated herself before the mirror and ran the brush through her hair with swift strokes. Today was the day she would carry the name of her beloved. Today….was her day.
"Why aren't you ready?" a voice she'd recognized anywhere spoke.
Her delirious best friend, a thin girl with big brown eyes and a goofy baby face that could imitate a clown's even without makeup and paint. The girl held a huge white gown with long sleeves, a low cleavage, the bottom of the dress fell to the ground in silky terraces.
"Um…." Shannon was speechless . "Am I wearing that!" Maryann, her best friend, frowned.
"Cos you are!" she replied. "And here's your veil." Shannon gaped as Maryann lay down the wedding dress carefully on the couch and produced a two mile long veil.
"I know it's short but it would do."
Shannon thought back to her high school days when Maryann was very adamant on being the one to arrange Shannon's wedding. Maryann brought out what looked to be a list.
"Bougainvilleas, hmm, yes check! Mistletoe…"
"Mistletoe?" Shannon sputtered. "But Maryann! It's a long way from Christmas!"
"Nonsense," Maryann waved it off. "Brings out the festivities, you know. What else? Oh yes, young Spanish priest."
Shannon smiled knowing how much Maryann loved Spanish people.
"I ordered white roses, I didn't want the red ones. White symbolizes virginity..." Maryann looked up from her list. "Well unless…you prefer the red ones which symbolizes…."
"White ones!" Shannon quickly interrupted flushing at Maryann's sly look. "Wait. What would the groom be wearing?" Shannon had to ask. Maryann smiled coyly to herself.
"That's for me to know, and you to find out," she answered.
"Music…ah yes. Celine Dion, check!" Shannon rolled her eyes. Maryann was a die hard Dion fan.
"Oh yes, the best man. He was just some American guy I met on the streets who looked like Leo Dicaprio during his Titanic era. And you know how I loved Titanic!" Shannon looked at Maryann skeptically.
"I thought the best man was my fiance's best friend?" she asked. Maryann made a face.
"O yea him…died of food poisoning," she replied then taking on an innocent expression added, "No idea how that happened."
"Transportation?" Shannon asked.
"I've arranged a white limo, decorated it with pink balloons and there's a sign secured across the sides," Maryann answered. "I arranged for it to make two rounds around the Cathedral."
"Why?" Shannon asked.
"Riding in a limo is fun," Maryann replied grinning. "Now get ready, I bought a pair of white stilettos. Dorn that wedding dress oh and um.." Maryann brought out a Victoria secrets shopping bag. "Bought some lingerie for the honeymoon." Shannon turned red but burst out laughing anyway at her crazy friend's tactics.

30 minutes later Shannon found herself staring at the white limo with the words "Just married….SO GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY," written across it. Was she really going to ride this after her wedding?

The Limo made two rounds around the Cathedral is planned before pulling up at the church entrance. Shannon was dragged out by Maryann as they got ready for the bride's turn to proceed down the isle.
"Isn't dad here yet?" Shannon asked looking around.
"Huh?" Maryann asked. "O yea, too traditional. Your best friend's giving you away…um..me!"
"What!" Shannon almost choked on her own saliva. The flute tune of My Heart Will Go On began and the two besties walked down the isle. Shannon's attention was caught by the people crowded in the Cathedral. Her best friends and family were all at the front but…who were all the strangers standing at the back? Maryann answered as if reading her mind,
"I invited some wealthy people as well," she whispered. "You know…. bigger wedding presents." Shannon looked at her incredulously. This was definitely a memorable day for her. She then turned her attention to the man she was giving her life too. Her one true love...her soon-to-be-husband who stood waiting at the alter with the priest, maid of honor, best man and her parents. Her eyes widened when she looked at the groom who was decked out in…his birthday suite.
"Maryann!" she already knew who was behind this.
"I had this all planned 10 years ago," Maryann beamed. "So that you know what you're getting before you marry him."

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